Why does forcing teachable moments often backfire

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Reference no: EM133729187

Question: Dillow (2023) Question: Out of the "Response to Hurtful Communication", which is the most stable response to a relationship? After discussing how it is the stable response to the relationship, please take the opposite stance: How can one of the responses be detrimental to the relationship?

In my opinion, it seems that active verbal responses would be the best way to approach hurtful communication from a partner. As stated in our Dillow (2023) textbook, this is the approach most often used, especially by those who are more satisfied in their relationships. The book also notes that these verbal responses can be either constructive or destructive. In the case that these verbal responses are constructive, the pair are more likely to have an open dialogue about the hurtful comments, with more potential to come to a mutual understanding of the hurt. This is the nature of the constructive potential of these active verbal responses; by having both parties discuss why one partner was hurt by the communication and why the other partner partook in the hurtful communication in the first place (i.e., their reason for saying the thing that hurt the other partner), it is more likely that the partners will see the other's perspective and gain more empathy for the situation.

On the flip side of this, though, is that destructive side of active verbal responses. This could also be highly detrimental to the relationship in that it could be perceived by one or both parties as highly confrontational or aggressive. If the partner who was hurt by the communication confronts the other partner about hurting them, they could be seen as overly emotional or sensitive. In other words, the partner who initiated the hurtful communication may have a lower level of empathy right from the start for their partner's hurt, and thus the responses on both sides could potentially be more harmful to the relationship than good.

Based on the reading when parents and children discuss hurtful episodes why does "forcing" teachable moments often backfire?

Reference no: EM133729187

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