Reference no: EM13894968
After studying my argument, are you sure what I want or expect from my audience? I think you are talking about how child abuse is caused by racism, however if you lose the reader to punctuation issues and grammatical error, you tend to lose sight of what you are reading. Have I succeeded in persuading my audience? Why or why not? I think you have a lot of great information, I just think it needs to be organized a little better so that it flows.
What do you consider my essay's major strength so far? I believe your information is viable and relative to your issue/concern.
What do you suggest should be the first thing I work on for revision/addition? Punctuation and run on sentences.
Does this draft respond to the assignment (i.e., persuasion of a specific audience w/ appeals to reason, character, emotion, and style
where appropriate)? Explain. I think it does, but it needs to flow better so that each section can clearly point out what you are doing.
Are the needs of the audience kept in mind? For instance, do some concepts or words need to be defined? Yes, definitely
Can you accept the writer's assumptions(warrants)? Why or why not? Be specific by discussing at least one warrant from one claim I am making. No, I don't see where you trying to question the stated reasons and grounds.
Scrutinize each paragraph separately:
What is the basic point? Child abuse caused by racism.
How does each paragraph relate to the essay's thesis? I don't really see a thesis.
Should some paragraphs be further developed, condensed, combined, rearranged, deleted, or supported with research? Just more organized
Is each sentence clearly related to the one preceding it--and the one that follows? The flow of the paragraphs are off.
Are the introductory and concluding paragraphs effective? What works so far--and what might need revision? Please be specific in your advice. In your essay I got lost very easy. It really needs to be more organized so that you are clearly persuading your audience.
How should I organize/add my researched information? Do you have any suggestions about what sort of researched information might help support my arguments? You could organize it by stating the problem, proposing a solution and justifying your reasoning with research.
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