Reference no: EM133387344

Case Study: First, let's talk about how childhood sexual abuse can really affect anyone. And when I mean anyone, I'm alsoparticularly talking about in terms of gender. Who is affected by childhood sexual abuse? Thinking about the352,500 kids 12 or older in the United States that have experienced some sort of rape or sexual assault.

This is also including many of the women. Women are particularly at risk. And when we're talking about women,we're probably talking about cis women, as well as cis men and cis boys who are affected in 1 in 10 rapes thatidentify as male.

Also even though we don't necessarily have exact statistics when we're talking about people who are transgender,nonconforming, or non-binary, we know that those numbers are high. We can even say one in four trans girls haveexperienced some sort of sexual abuse when they were younger, but the statistics that we do have are around 21%of trans or gender nonconforming people who identify as transgender nonconforming in college, 18% of thoseidentifying as gender nonconforming or trans females or 4% who identify as trans or gender nonconforming males.

Some of the ways that children can be exposed to especially sexually explicit content is online. This is why weneed to have a lot of conversations with our parents, caretakers, grandparents, X, Y, and Z-- anybody who actuallyhas accessibility to the internet. And not just through the computers, right? We're also talking about people havingaccess on their phones. The more accessibility that you have, the easier it is for children to be able to access someof this information online.

One thing that I've actually found in my practice that unfortunately is pretty common is having adults actuallyshowing some of these things to children. This can prompt inappropriate conversations, also inappropriate actionstoward children from the perspective of adults. So remembering none of this is actually the children's fault. A lot ofthese are actually, we're looking at the parents, caretakers who are not necessarily protecting children aroundsome of this information that's online.

Moving on from that is also exposure to media. So the more that we look at media, magazines, TV, movies, ads,we're seeing a lot of exposure around sexual content. Children, especially if you're living in a household to wherepeople aren't necessarily having that conversation, children are going to get that information and they're going towonder where that comes from.

So who are they going to have that conversation with? With their peers, people in their community. And hopefully,they have some of this information that is going to be accurate and correct, but most of the time, we can'tnecessarily bank on that. So also for us, as social workers, being mindful about what the exposure is around someof the sexual content that's happening out in the world and how that's really affecting the way that kids are thinkingabout not only theirselves as sexual beings, but also how are they relating to others.

Finally, one conversation to think about, especially for yourselves, is some of the intergenerational informationabout bodies and understanding consent. These are conversations we are not necessarily having. I think once weget to an age, especially when people get to college or people who are older than 18, then we start thinking about,well, how in the world do we start asking about consent, when these conversations need to be happening a lotsooner.

Even as young as nine months or even a year, children are giving you information around their bodies in terms ofhow they want to be touched, how they don't want to be touched. Removing your hand, moving away-- even smallthings like that are keys to communication around what feels comfortable and what doesn't feel comfortable tokids.

Those things are going to carry them throughout their life, so it's important very early on for adults to be able tounderstand what do those mean for kids, how can you support them around saying yes and definitely no, aroundwhat feels good and what doesn't feel good, and how do we communicate that to others, especially people whoare in close-knit community or family systems?

What I mean by intergenerational information is information that has been passed down from family member tofamily member to family member. Maybe you, as a person who identifies as somebody who is in a more femininebody who identifies as a woman, you didn't necessarily have a conversation about consent with your mom, withyour grandma because those are conversations that they didn't have with their parents.

And so some of these ideas get passed down to children over time about how they can respect their body andwhat actually autonomy or consent is. So learning that especially from a social worker perspective of how do weteach these as early as possible for kids to be able to understand what their relationship is to their bodies and tothe community is really important in order to help prevent childhood sexual abuse.

What are some of the other ways that we can have these conversations with children in order to keep themselvessafe? I would love to be able to say I have all the magical answers to tell you about how we can eradicatechildhood sexual abuse forever and always, but I don't necessarily have those answers. But what I can give you aresome tools and tips that you can give to children and to parents on how to protect their bodies in the communitiesthat they live in.

First, teaching kids appropriate anatomy. It's really important that we, even at a young age, start using appropriateterms for anatomy for kids. So we're not necessarily saying cookie for vagina or we're saying we-we for penis,we're actually using the proper terms.

How did this prevent childhood sexual abuse? Because if somebody does in an unfortunate incident have aconversation with a child and actually inappropriately had touched them, children can then go to their parents, theircaretakers, whoever is taking care of them and say, this person actually touched my penis-- very direct, verypoignant, something that doesn't necessarily can get misconstrued through language. We actually give them thetools in order to protect themselves. And it definitely gives them confidence around their bodies.

Giving them confidence around their bodies, aside from anatomy, is also talking about or having someconversations around sex. This builds comfort around the subjects. And if you aren't comfortable, there are plentyof classes, online webinars, and also books that you can access as well.

Two books that I would highly recommend is one, What Makes a Baby by Corey Silverberg. This book is all abouthow do babies get made, but it removes all of the gender language that we use in terms of mom, dad, men havesperm, women have eggs. And so using it in a very gender-neutral term allows you to have a conversation abouthow babies are made without necessarily pointing to gender specifically.

The second one that I would highly recommend is also by Dr. Lexx Brown-James called These Are My Eyes, TheseAre My Nose, This Is My Vulva, These Are My Toes. It's a really fun children's book that you can go through withyour child to talk specifically about body parts and the proper names for body parts.

So again, as we're more having these conversations over time with children and being able to use proper terms, itbuilds their confidence, but also thinking about you too. And also I would be very open to having your ownconversation with yourself about how comfortable are you talking about sex, or body parts, or proper anatomy.Where does that come from-- that discomfort? Who taught you that? So the more that we get into this practice ofbeing able to use proper terms, the easier it is for you to have conversations with parents and kids around thispractice as well.

Also it's never too early to start practicing consent. A fun story that I always like to tell was that with my nine-month-old, they are very poignant about how they like to be touched or how they don't like to be touched. So if I'mtouching them on their head and they're like, absolutely not, they will take my hand and remove it. That, for me,doesn't necessarily mean that I continue to do that action, right? That actually means that I need to stop that.

And the thing that I do in order to reinforce that is, thank you for letting me know that you don't want your headtouched. So being able to get into that practice as early as possible with children is actually really important. Givingthem the autonomy and giving them the confidence to be able to say no and stick with their no, to be able to sayyes, that's OK, and to be able to feel confident about their yes actually helps them-- that's actually talking aboutconsent without actually having to always be a very serious conversation about it.

Then last but not least, getting support for caretakers and caregivers around their own experience. A lot of times,some of the anxiety, and angst, and worry that a lot of the caretakers are experiencing is based on their ownexperience around childhood sexual abuse. With the numbers that I just named to you, of course some of theparents that you have worked with, and even yourself, have experienced childhood sexual abuse in some way,shape, or form.

So first, making sure that before you're having these conversations with kids, that you're getting support for someof these caretakers, and caregivers, and for yourself to make sure that you are protecting yourself in every way,shape, or form to make sure that you're able to articulate some of these really complex ideas to kids with comfort,and understanding, and confidence so you all can live and build very healthy lives.

Questions: Read and answer the following questions

• What are some other ways to encourage consent and body autonomy within this age group?
• Let's say you have a client who is a 7-year-old boy with a cognitive disability/difference. In what ways are they able to learn about consent and body autonomy (think creatively)?
• How do you help teach parents these skills, especially if the concepts of consent and body autonomy are new to them?