Reference no: EM131836613
Hellow. Please, I need somebody to review my paper and check for grammar errors. This is suppose to be a Narrative Story. While in the process of reading this story, what other thesis statement would you recommend me. Is my thesis statement strong enough for my story, or could I please get some examples so I could make it work better. Thanks a lot!
An Crazy Adventure in the Elapse of my Career
Today, social network has change the way I interact in my daily life. People like me uses the cell phones to interact with other people; these platform that plays an important role in my life are Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, etc. I remember one day, I met this guy with the name of Josh back in High School; he was a very shy and calm guy. Social network has also change the way my friend Josh interact with his family, friends, and other important people in his life. One of the biggest problems that I and my friend Josh encountered while socializing in these networks is that these platforms are not very accurate, and nowadays; communicating online causes people like him and I to feel fear to interact with others. As a result, I always wanted to change the way people interact in their daily basis by creating a social platform that can resolve these types of problems and help people like my friend Josh overcome his shyness; and with the help of this; it could help me pick the correct career.
Communicating through these platforms had an impact in Josh's life. Josh has always been a very shy person while chatting or meeting new people online. Since he was very little, there were many people who made fun of him on Facebook. He also had a lot of problems at home. His mom was not able to pay for rent, and his father was handicapped. Josh was experiencing a lot of stress with all these horrible situations, and as a result; he became a very isolated and sad person. People like him might feel fear to be rejected by others which causes a person like him to not communicate or interact with anybody.
Josh made a big impact in my life and in my career. I met Josh since high school. I was the only guy who he used to talk all the time; and his only friend who he could trust. When we were in class, we used to play games like who could create the most innovative ideas in such as early age. To be honest, Josh was always the smartest at brainstorming his ideas, he was and is the smartest dude I've ever met. He taught me how to care about a friend, instead; I always wanted to do the best for him, so he can be more sociable. That motivation persuaded me to create something innovative. The day after I finished High School with Josh, I knew that creating ideas in a business or corporation was my type of stuff, and that being able to help other people improve their lives was like a gift given to me. Since then I knew that becoming a business entrepreneur and Innovation major will be my type of job. Unfortunately, Josh decided to go for other major which kind of made me feel very sad, but I knew it was the right choice for him to go for what he likes to do which is doing marketing in the business industry. One year later, I decided to apply for many Universities, one of these universities were West Virginia University.
Problems like the ones that Josh experiences everyday made me realize that I had to help this poor abandoned soul and also help other people that also experiences the same problems. As I researched very deep through the internet, hours of long and exhausting search, I found out that according to many online surveys, it says that most of the time people prefers to get a reward to accomplish a task. That same day, my mind was blown by an amazing idea. As I was trying to lye down on my bed to think about my idea in more detail, I start to see images in my mind. I start looking at random strangers talk to each other, and that on top of their heads they had like a very bright words and some bright numbers on the side. That was like a hint inside my mind, but I was still so confused; trying to figure out what was the big deal about that idea. I start to get paranoid, it was like a crazy dream. After several minutes of non-sense reasoning, Josh decides to call me and wake me up from my crazy idea. I decided to get out of bed and leave my bedroom, so I can go to the kitchen and pick up my old cheap looking laptop, so I can do some programming with my fearful friend Josh. When I entered the room, I realize that the room temperature was so cold, almost frozen to the touch. I was wondering all this time why it was so cold. Not wondering why it was so cold, my sister left the freezer of the refrigerator wide open. My friend and I start to laugh non-stop about the situation, Josh's face was like a cherry; one of those cherries that grow in one of those rich gardens owned by the big wealthiest guys. That was the first time I saw Josh smiling while he was laughing. That made me realize that is possible to make people smile even though they are in very tough moments. While I was programming with my friend Josh in the call, I asked him what would he do if somebody offers him a paycheck for every time he talks to a every person that is beside him; would he just take the offer, or will he just leave it? He screams very loud "hell yeah, I would love to take that paycheck dude! After that, my hint pops out of my mind. The reason why I start seeing these mysterious words and numbers in top of people's heads that night was because the numbers were representing the amount of points people were earning while talking to each other, and the words were describing how outgoing that person was at that current moment. That's when I realize that I could (create a)n amazing and successful app where people could interact with each other, and as a reward; they could get small prices. A week later, I decided to buy a newer laptop that was able to handle raw programming, and throw my old and slow laptop, so I can start to code my new software. I spent every night programming my app, with red eyes, grown beard, and pale face. It was like one of those nights where I don't want to move, sleep, or even deconcentrate at any moment; only a cup of hot coffee was the only thing that made me feel alive. After long hours of working with my app, I decided to publish my app on the App Store privately for only VIP users and testers. One night, Josh calls me around 4:00 am asking me desperately why I couldn't publish the app for the public. The app was successful for me and my crew, but I noticed that there was a lot to work on it yet. After several months of hard reasoning, I realize that the day I publish this app for the public; I might be able to change the way people interact with others in a positive way. One of my most important goals is to make everybody happy if it's possible, trying to make that little change in people's life.
Many opportunities came to my field at WVU, and some partners decided to join with me in this crazy and excited adventure. I knew that being in the entrepreneur world requires a lot of challenges and effort, so I decided to go with all my spirit; no matter if I had a team or not. I know that I have an amazing app ready to publish it, and that the day I launch it to the public; people will feel satisfied as a community; and that this community will grow over time. People will feel more confident while talking, and most importantly, change the way my friend Josh interacts by creating this app specially made for him. That's just me, a dude who wants to help his caring friend, and other people who also experiences this type of problems while communicating in the internet.