Reference no: EM133309644

Case Study: Michael and Sarah came to me for advising/counselling. Their first statement was please help us save our marriage. We think we have come to an end . We want to stay together but the arguments/fights are becoming unbearable and agonizing. Both Michael and Sarah are professional and between and financially stable. With their own individual bank accounts forthem there's no need for a joint account. I was surprised and totally taken aback when in one of the sessions they told me, "We talked about this before we got married and felt that this way it is a clean break in case we decide to break up and divorce".
After the sixth session when it seem that they are coming on board in resolving their issues I asked if they were ready to start tackling the main issues, they agreed but would not stop bringing the small petty issues back in the discussion. I realized that there is something else that they are keeping from me. I decided to talk to them individually instead of as a couple.

My next session was with the wife, Sarah and she once again talked about the concerns that we had discoursed before. She went on and on with all the life problems and how she has fought to reach this level. She has seen tough time growing up and had to support herself and siblings. Her father had rage issues and was not supportive of their mother or children. That resulted her being very protective of what is hers and did not trust anyone including her husband Michael. When it was husband's turn one issue that came out was that it started with a dream that she had about her husband having an affair with another woman. When she told him about the dream, he (according to him) good-humoredly said that he was and he is seriously thinking about a second wife and that he is seeing someone. That flared Michelle so much that they have not talked to each other with a straight face for months now. The husband assured me that he loves his wife and that was only a shaggy-dog story. (joke)

I also found out that in spite of the fact that they were only married for two and half years their marital relations were damaging. According to Sarah, she allows him to have the marital relation but she is frigid and shows no response or emotions to his approach or during the course. Her mind wonders about all the negativity and bad things that have happened in the past and presently between them.

He on the other hand was a unreceptive person, especially when it came to protecting his wife. His family members would take a poke at his wife, or pass negative comments towards her and he always would ignore saying they are just joking. That time and time again would bring back horrible memories to Michelle of her childhood the treatment of her father toward her mother. This has been the case well before the dream, but came out in the open after the dream. She wants to have children from him.

Questions:
1. Can their marriage survive without loving marital relationship between them?
2. How can they resolve their marital issues?
3. What is your advice for the Michael?
4. What is your advice for the Sarah?
5. What are the real issues?
6. How can they bring sparkle in their marriage?
7. What is the moral lessons?
8. Proofs that they still love each other