Reference no: EM132301625

Experience Communication Case Study CAloudy Climate The fourth and fifth guidelines concern communicating when conflicts arise. We learned that we can make choices about timing that increase the likelihood of constructive climate. In addition, we discussed the value of showing grace—unearned, unrequired compassion—when that is appropriate. pply what you’ve learned in this chapter by analyzing the following case study, using the accompanying questions as a guide. These questions and a video of the case study are also available online with your MindTap Speech for Communication Mosaics. Andy and Martha married five years ago when they completed gradu- ate school. Last week, Andy got the job offer of his dreams—with one problem: He would have to move 1,500 miles away. Martha loves her current job and has no interest in moving or in living apart. Andy sees this job as one that could really advance his career. For the past week, they have talked and argued continually about the job offer. Tonight, while they are preparing dinner in their kitchen, they have returned to the topic once again. We join them midway in their discussion, just as it is heating up. Andy: So, today I was checking on the costs for flights from here to Seattle. If we plan ahead for visits, we can get round-trip flights for around $300. That’s not too bad. Martha: While you’re thinking about finances, you might consider the cost of renting a second apartment out there. We agreed last night that it would be too expensive to live apart. Andy: I never agreed to that. Martha, can’t you understand how important this job is to my career? Martha: And what about our marriage? I suppose that’s not important? Andy: [He grabs a knife and begins cutting an onion.] I never said that! If you’d pull with me on this, our marriage would be fine. You’re just not. . . . Martha: [She slams a pot on the stove.] Not what? Not willing to be the traditional supportive wife, I assume. Andy: [He grimaces, puts down the knife, and turns to face Martha.] That isn’t what I was going to say. I never asked you to be a traditional wife or to be anything other than who you are, but I want you to let me be myself, too. Martha: If you want to be yourself, then why did you get married? Marriage is about more than just yourself—it’s about both of us and what’s good for the two of us. You’re not thinking of us at all. Andy: And I suppose you are? You’re only thinking about what you want. You don’t seem to give a darn what I want. You’re being incredibly selfish. Martha: [She slams her hand against the counter and shouts.] Selfish! I’m selfish to care about our marriage? Andy: You’re using that to manipulate me, as if I don’t care about the marriage and you do. If you really cared about it, maybe you’d consider moving to Seattle so we could be together. Martha: [She raises her eyebrows and speaks in a sarcastic tone.] And just a minute ago, you said you weren’t asking me to be a traditional wife. Now you want me to be the trailing spouse so you can do what you please. Dandy! Andy: I didn’t say that. You’re putting words in my mouth. What I said was— Martha: What you said was I should move to Seattle and support whatever it is you want to do. Andy: [He slams the knife into the cutting board.] I did not say that. Quit telling me what I said! Chapter 7 Creating Communication Climates 149 [He takes a deep breath, lowers his voice, then continues.] Look, Martha, can we just step back from this argument and try to look at the options with a fresh eye? Martha: I’ve looked all I want to look. I’ve heard all I want to hear. You know where I stand on this, and you know I’m right even if you don’t want to admit it.

1. Identify examples of mind reading, and describe their impact on Martha’s and Andy’s discussion. 2. Identify communication that fosters a defensive interpersonal climate. 3. To what extent do you think Andy and Martha feel listened to by the other? 4. Do you perceive any relationship-level meanings that aren’t being addressed in this conversation?