Reference no: EM131123802
1. The aim is clear from the start, that's really important; to state the problem and to state that a solution exists.
2. The structure is good. The problems are explored, the analysis is there and recommendations follow.
There are many, many places where you can simplify and clarify your language. Ex: On page 2 what 'The Entity(?) is' -- and what you are trying to say. I've highlighted sentences that can be made simpler and can use active bold language.
Grammar plays a role here: Again, active sentences are the rule.
Instead of: The company's image has been tarnished with many of our loyal customers being concerned.
Try: Our loyal customers now voice real concern.
Active present tense sentences. Active verbs --
3. You have placed the blame on one employee when in fact it was a chain of errors -- is that constructive? Does it help GW in the long term? Can a more collaborative approach in this letter achieve more aims?
4. The social media issues are raised but not addressed.
Attachment:- SDIAZ-Report for Internal Circulation-2.rar
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