Reference no: EM132514154 , Length: word count:800

Peer Review Worksheet: Commentary

Part of your responsibility as a student in this course is to provide quality feedback to your peers that will help them to improve their writing skills. This worksheet will assist you in providing that feedback. To highlight the text and type over the information in the boxes on this worksheet, double-click on the first word.

This paper is a commentary on the issue and controversy of overdosing of ADHD medication found within the United States. The paper deems that overdosing is a major problem, and cites concerns made by the FDA and Poison Control who warn that initiatives need to be implemented to help prevent these overdoses.

After a second, closer reading of the draft, answer each of the following questions. Positive answers will give you specific elements of the draft to praise; negative answers will indicate areas in need of improvement and revision. Please be sure to indicate at least three positive aspects of the draft and at least three areas for improvement in reply to the questions at the bottom of this worksheet.

Commentary Content and Ideas
• How effectively does the thesis statement identify the main points that the writer would like to make in this commentary?
The thesis gets the job done, but is a little confusing for the reader to understand what is going on, I would simplify.
• How descriptive is the writer's choice of a label to name the issue in question?

• How effectively does the writer frame an issue at the beginning of the essay? The author clearly labeled the issue; overdosing found with ADHD medicine.

• How effective is the writer's analysis of the issue in terms of causes and consequences?
• How persuasively is evidence used to support assertions and enrich the essay?
• How effectively does the essay's content support the thesis by using strategies appropriate for commentaries, as outlined in chapter 10 of Writing with Purpose?

Organization
• How effectively does the introduction engage the reader while providing an overview of the paper?
Intro lets the reader know what the subject is, but it could be made mroe interesting to hook reader into the paper.
• Please identify the writer's thesis and quote it in the box below.
"Moreover, this assessment will also explain this matter in a precise manner by explaining causes along with side effects. Besides, it will also highlight and implement the judgment and analyze the trend by adopting the third person."
I would not start off a thesis with a transition.

• How effectively do the paragraphs develop the topic sentence and advance the essay's ideas?
Paragraphs do help add on to what the thesis statement and introduction led the paper to talk about, but as a reader it can be a little bit confusing to read, great ideas and good information just needs to be edited for organization a little more.
• How effectively does the conclusion provide a strong, satisfying ending, not a mere summary of the essay?

Conclusion summarizes what was said, I personally would not include the, "After understanding the above analysis and discussion, it has stated that the.." restate the main statements made in the paper you do not need to add the rest then add an additional thought or statement to end the paper.

Attachment:- Peerview comment.rar