Reference no: EM133125246

Question: Make some revisions. You do not mention Langston Hughes'' poem on Helen Keller until the forth page of your analysis. Remember that this essay needs to be focused on analyzing the poem you have chosen. Shorten the introductory material (the first three pages of the draft) and begin introducing the poem much sooner. The first three full pages read like a biography of Helen Keller''s life, rather than an analysis of the poem you have chosen. I would shorten that introduction that discusses Keller''s life to no more than a page and a half, and I would include the mention of Langston Hughes and his poem much sooner, in the introduction, so that readers know exactly what you paper will be about. Then, please be sure to include a clear thesis statement that clearly shows what you are going to argue in your essay about the poem (and you are analyzing Langston Hughes'' poem on Helen Keller, right? At some points in the draft, exactly which text you are writing about seems unclear or to shift).

For instance, in one of your body paragraphs on Page 4, you talk about allusion. That could be one of the body points you mention in your thesis. You also need to be sure each body paragraph connects back to the poem.

1. I am thinking this is your thesis statement. You will want to also include a component of your thesis that connects back to Helen Keller and what Hughes was showing about Keller by writing his poem, because she is such an integral part of the poem and your essay.

2. Good points, but connect them back to the poem.

3. Are you analyzing Hughes'' poem about Helen Keller, or are you doing a comparison of both of their poems? Or are you arguing Langston Hughes and Helen Keller have much in common in their social struggles?

4. Connect this paragraph back to your pain point of argument and your poem analysis.

5. Connection back to Langston Hughes'' poem?

6. Write a strong topic sentence that clearly shows what this paragraph is going to be about and that also has a connection back to your (revised) thesis statement.

7. Shorten the intro/biographical information and introduce Langston Hughes and his poem that you are going to analyze much sooner (in the first paragraph).

8. Shorten bio and begin analysis/introduction to Hughes and text you will be analyzing much sooner.